A New Year, A New You and whole load of New Gossip.

Suddenly, almost as soon as the clock strikes midnight, everything you heard, thought or felt last year becomes... well, very last year. Who care's about the guy you like and the girl next door? That's soooo last year, darling. Why does it matter that your best friend has gained 9 pounds? It's a NEW freaking YEAR! But is it truly that easy to let go, move on, forget, and never look back... without regret? Is that 'fresh start' really so fresh? Or are your new years resolutions as stale as the bread used in those oh-so-kitsh turkey sandwiches?

The countdown is over and people are buzzing with anticipation. Because, the year is young, and the prospects of finally quitting smoking or learning the guitar may excite even the less motivated of humans. I believe, the secret to persuing and succeeding in this promises we make to ourselves, no matter what time of year, is to take one small step at a time. Because when you look back, you'll be a hell of a lot further then when you started! Concentrate on one little target to achieve your dream goal. For instance, my resolution was to be a nicer person in general and my first target was to stop being so DAMN nosey! First, i refrained from commenting on other peoples conversations. Then, I found myself not listening all together. However, this lead to a lack of juicy juicy (harmless) gossip. So I moved on and started giving more hugs. Everyone likes hugs, right? Right!

Now, about the looking back. Picture it. Your high high up on a rickety bridge over a canyon. The voice in your head says 'don't look down, bitch! Don't look down!' So what do you do? Look down, far down to the potential painful death you could experience if you don't keep moving! I see it like this; look back on mistakes helps us learn, move on and keep chugging along until we are far enough way to either not remember or not care. It's as simple as that.

xox Qwerty

When First Dates turn into Worst Dates...

It's not the guy, I mean he's great. Charming, funny, friendly and kind. It's the time, the place and me. Today I had a bad date. I recently came out of an almost 5 month relationship, and as in Sex and The City, I believe you should allow yourself half the time you dated the person as to get over them. So thearetically, I shouldn't start going on any dates for another 2 and half months. But it was more like two and a half days, literally. And FYI, it's not a good idea. My emotions towards new crush and old boyfriend where confused- the feelings of love I had towards OB where getting lost between the feelings of excitement with NC. And together- love and excitement- create what I'm missing from either relationship; so combined, I'm in a damn good one. But wait- that's two guys, and I cant let myself get confused. It's so hard forcing yourself back to Plan A after so much with an OB, all the shit you got through together, all the fun you had, all the things you learnt, and the friendship. And then moving onto a NC, the prospect of all the above... it's just so hard to get caught in an emotional cross fire.

It started fine, a little awkward, but that's expected. It's just when he started brushing my arm, or touching my knee that my thoughts turned to OB. The date turned stressful and hard to bear, I had to stop looking at NC in the eye, I got nervous and scared. I really like this guy, but it's just way to soon. It's like buying a new dog the day after you're old one dies. What if OB finds out? What if NC finds out? Oh shit, i'm in shit. But when dates turn bad because of relationships turned bad, really, what can you do? It's not fair on the date to say 'hey, listen, not over my EX yet but maybe we could try this again in a few months 'cos I really like ya'll.'... wait, is that not fair? Maybe that would work. Surely he'd understand right? See, here I am, mixed up again.

The thing about this kinda thing is that it's so hard to tell when you're really over that person. I go buy three things: I can tell EX my crushes, I can tell EX what I really think about their EX, and most of all, I can see EX without any makeup on. It's so easy to get caught up between old and new, do you tell EX? Yes. You have too, and this is where I went wrong, I didn't tell him. Maybe if I had said 'I'm going on a date' it would me easy for me. Instead of thinking the whole time 'what would EX say?'. When you come across a situation like this all you can do is be honest. And, I know I'm not perfect, but I do believe honesty is the key to a good relationship, whether it's 'just friends' or growing old together. Don't put yourself out there too soon. Don't be vunerable. Do tell him [NC or OB] how you're feeling. And when all else fails, just take time for taking time.

xox Qwerty

Love Hurts.

Wikipedia says [and I know not to trust it on everything, but I believe this is true] "Unrequited love is love that is not openly reciprocated, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. The beloved may not even be aware of their admirer's deep affections. This can lead to feelings such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, and rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria. Being such a universal feeling, it has naturally been a frequent subject in popular culture."

Bah, I know what that feels like. What if you are loved, but the one you love is not the one that you love? Truth is, and remember, the truth hurts, love is not always a two player game. It totally sucks. Even if it's not even LURVE! What if, you, like, totally are crushing on that cute guy. It may feel like lub, and I know what that feels like too. You want it so bad, but you can't have it. ARGH. Well; the worst thing you can do is assume. Never assume ANYTHING. Please, remember that, it'll save you so much heartache. Don't trust, don't assume. Guys will say anything you want to hear just because you want to hear it, and that may sound nice but in the long run it's the worst thing that can happen.

Pain. What can you do? Avoid the person? Find someone new in the hope of getting over you're crush/love of your life? And, if they aren't the love of you're life, and you ain't gettingn anywhere with them, try to remember if it was gonna work, you would make it work. If you can't make it work, it never will. BUT BUT BUTT- and a bit J LO BUTT! How can you ever be sure that you don't have a chance? Try it. And, hey, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. You could always make up a rumour about them after. Like, IE, they like wearing womans thongs. Bahaha, that's a funny one to surface.

I realised something about two seconds ago. What if, that thing you've been waiting for isn't really what it seems? IT's all starting to fall in place for me, but what if it's really falling apart? Someone wants me to choose, and I hate choices. Someone wants me to tell the truth, and I hate admitting I'm wrong. Someone wants me to give up all the shit, but I just can't. This life is so hard, but you'll one day find someone that'll make all the shit you've been through worth it.

xox Qwerty

New Kids; UGLY Shoes

Welcoming the new kids is like introducing you're boyfriend to your best friend. Your boyfriend being school, BFFL being the new kids. They'll either steal everything you've got, or get on every ones nerves and ruin the beautiful regime and hierarchy. Either way, it wont be good. The good thing about new kids, however, is fresh, juicy, un-tainted meat. They don't yet know the rules of the school; and, hell, let's not tell them until they break a few. Naive, scared and anxious, the new kids will do anything to fit in- unless the unthinkable happens. All the new kids group together to make one alliance, also known as 'The Rucksack Gang' or 'Ruckies' for short. They are so called because they don't yet know rule No 5- No rucksacks, backpacks or satchels- Louis Vuitton Satchels are acceptable. Unless you are a boarder [board at school], any of the above are UNACCEPTABLE. But, for those innocent new kids, there's a two week rule. If you have any of the above after those two weeks... ouch. Be prepared to be spending your break times in ICT block.

The beauty of the new term [if there is any beauty in going back to school] is the fresh start. A clean slate. Remember the two week rules? That's the 'testing period'... We see someone we think has potential, we see what they've got. Say they we're to break a few rules in the first week, it would depend on which one to where in the hierarchy they would be placed. For instance, the 'No Starting Rumours as a Rookie' rule. Say you had only been in the school for two days, and you told everyone the girl you sit next to in math smells like weed. That's a big no no. That would put you with the 'Straightedge' kids. That would NOT go down well with the gossips. Starting rumours is OUR job. Not yours. And pissing of the school gossip/s is the worst. My best gossip compadre once got harrassed by a newbie. She ended up on the floor during netball. Oh- and extend the two week Ruckie rule- you'll end up as a Yuckie. It's childish, but it's true.

Anywaaah. Qwerty xox

Oh, PS. Ugly shoes? I don't know why, but new kids are incapable of buying nice shoes. Hmf, it's just one of those things.